The Spoof
by Demon of the Darkshadow
Summary: You would olny understand this fic If you have read the following Star Wars Book series, "Heir to the Empire" and "Spectre of the past", Either way its funny you just might not know the charitors, I also dont own any of these charitors.


Keith Wheeler  
  
This spoof contains information from the books Specter of the  
past and Vision of the future by Timothy Zahn, therefor making  
it somewhat of a Fanfic, But mostly comedy  
  
  
  
Luke's head hurt. He groaned and got up looking around  
the cell. He tried to put it all together again in his mind.  
The aliens used the same trick Karrade used on Mykr. The...  
Whatever those things are lured him into a trap, and had six  
or seven of the force absorbing ysalamiri on their frames that  
had blocked him from using his Jedi ablities. After all this  
happened everything went black. The pain and stiffness he felt  
told him what caused him to go out. a high power Stun blast,  
ran through his mind.  
Luke stood up and strode over to a pile of some thing on  
the floor. It was so dark he couldn't quite see what it was  
he was staring at.  
Luke scratched his head, and noticed two rings on his  
wrists, "Stun cuffs" he murmured. he shrugged and picked up  
whatever he was analizing. Whatever it was it had a long shaft  
with sort of a double fat rounded blunt part at each end.  
"Oh well" he said to him self, "it will serve the task  
at hand." He picked up the object again and held it like a Jedi  
warrior would hold a shaft, and then started to commence his  
Jedi back-scratching maneuvers.  
The door opened and Luke got his first look at what he  
was scratching his back with. it was a human leg bone. disgusted  
he launched the bone across the cell, or at least he tried.  
the stun cuffs snapped together as someone turned them on by  
remote. Surprised he forgot to let go of the bone and it smacked  
him in the face, causing him to yelp loudly, "ouch"  
A creature wandered in with a nightstinger sniper blaster,  
a boundy hunter coat, and a face only a mother could love.  
"You the Luke Skywalker prisoner" the creature said, "You  
put up a good fight back there." the creature paused for a long  
time, "Well, reply prisoner Skywalker, or Ill vape you here  
and now!"  
"Uh," Luke said scrambling for a complement to give a  
creature that doesn't have much to complement. "Nice boots?"  
he tried.  
"Fool Im not wearing any boots," the creature snapped,  
"Im wearing Bears' feet slippers, they're very stylish now days."  
"Can I get some," Luke tried crossing his fingers and moving  
at the open door, "Ill just Run over to the local mall, and..."  
"Not a Chance!" the creature snapped, "There is a three  
month waiting list, and besides the primary counsel wants to  
have a friendly word with you." the creature added leveling  
his blaster at Luke, "Make haste, we must not keep them waiting.  
March!"  
* * *  
  
As Luke and his new found companion (who's BO could knock  
out a Krat dragon) marched down the corridor, people snickered  
at Luke's ugly muddy Jedi boots. The creatures blaster must  
be heavy because its muzzle was constantly rested between Luke's  
shoulder blades.  
"Have you ever actually shot any body with that?" Luke  
asked trying to make light conversation  
"Heck No!" The creature snapped, "I only have it be cause  
they're loved by the fans of the Star Wars Books. Besides at  
500 credits a round, and five rounds per energy tank making,  
2500 credits, I don't have the money to shoot it." They finally  
got to the door leading to the Primary Council. and slowly walked  
in.  
There was one person sitting at a huge desk with five  
chairs. "Were is everyone" Luke blurted out."  
A raspy voice responded, "Number four was out sick for  
his shockball game with number two, so number one is filling  
in, and number five is out for cleaning. Im number three. Take  
a seat."  
"Thank you very much" Luke said as he picked up the center  
seat and started walking off, "It will go nicely with my  
curtains."  
"Silence" number three boomed, as Luke dropped the chair  
and sat in it as fast as he could, "You Know what I mean" Luke  
muttered an apology wishing one of his last ditch efforts would  
work this time like they always did. "I have a question for  
you Skywalker. You give me an answer and Ill give you.." Number  
three scratched his head "Free Bear's feet slippers, I hear  
there Stylish. So what do you think about that? well?"  
"I don't think so," Luke said  
"You defy me?" number three asked, "Well then if you don't  
talk Ill starve you until you're crazed with hunger, then I  
will feed you your last meal, Then I will feed you candy buns  
with living parasites baked in them, and they will eat you from  
the inside out. Then before you die I will chop you up and  
personally feed you to the Feeze beetles."  
"Why not just shoot me and get it over with," Luke  
suggested, "Either way Im going to die."  
"Guess you're right," number three said, "We will do that  
instead, Now start talking and I might Still give you the  
slippers. Now," Number three said drawing him self up to his  
full intimidating height, "Why did you kill the Grand Admiral  
Thrawn clone? What did it ever do to you? it was Helpless. It  
didn't even complete its cloneing cycle for crying out loud!"  
"Well," Luke stammered, "I was trying to save my self,  
and my bride to be, Mara Jade."  
"What about your Astromec," number three cut off, "Didn't  
you want to save your R2 unit too?"  
"Yes" Luke continued, "and I also wanted to save the galaxy  
from another Thrawn. If he rose to power again, and at the  
instability of the New Republic it would have been disastrous  
"How do you know Thrawn two would have been bad?" number  
three asked looking faintly triumphant  
"He had flash learning for crying out loud." Luke said  
annoyed.  
"Ok that's all we wanted to know," Wedge said as he pulled  
off the mask disguising him as the guard that escorted Luke.  
"Yup" Karrade said pulling off his number three mask.  
"You two are in for it now," Luke said really peeved, "You  
kidnap me, and stick me in a cell, and for what?"  
"We where ordered to by the New republic council," Wedge  
protested "Oh well here are your slippers."  
(The screen fades off with everyone laughing)  
  
  
The  
End  
  
Wedge : Luke Karrade and I are going out for donuts. want  
something?  
Luke : Wait they haven't finished reading yet. 


End file.
